Entitlement

Entitlement says "I deserve something.  I am qualified for a privilege.  I have the right and I must have it." 

We all get into this situation sometimes.   There are many ways in which we find ourselves fighting for what we believe we should have.  In the airplane one might say, "I am entitled to that little leg room under your chair!  So please take your bag out of my space!"   A child may say to his parents, "How come I don't have an iPhone?  You are being unfair to me!"  I believe that entitlement opens the door to mediocrity and shuts the way to understanding and reason. When we begin to claim for a privilege, we narrow down our focus and lose track of other opportunities.  That prerogative, when given enough emphasis, eventually overwhelms our ability to reason.

Jonah (Read Jonah Chapter 4) for example, believed that he is entitled to the shade from the vine, forgetting that he did not have any thing to do with its existence.  When the worm ate the leaves, he got upset because all of a sudden he was exposed to unfavorable heat. 

But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight.  But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

 Today a mother upset by a 30-minute change in schedule to accommodate a group piano practice was very angry.   Obviously her son did not let her know about it.  The mother did not plan and was not prepared for this change so she questioned and yelled at the teacher and could not be appeased.  She was determined to insist on who-knows-what - that she was not going to listen to any explanation.  The thirty-minute change in schedule was enough reason for her to ruin her relationship with her son's teacher.  Right there and then she was setting a not-so-dignified witness to her child and the rest of the students who were watching.

"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."  ~ Isaac Asimov

Many times we are like Jonah - we put our own agenda on top of everything because we think that we deserve all the success, comfort, good treatment, and blessings of this world.   Think again and evaluate "the heart" in relation to the things that we desire to have and do.  It could be that in the pursuit and protection of whatever we want we harden our shells and prevent our chance to grow outward.  It could be that we are willing to give up the other beautiful things just because of something we know we deserve.  We miss our chance to choose what is right because we are too busy fighting for the right way things should be done.   How many times have I seen this happen?  Beware!  (especially me).   God wants us to be beautiful and loving people.  He wants us to flourish...yet when we have enclosed ourselves with a hardened shell, He may need to break us in order for a new life to begin in us. 

The bible says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind.   Love your neighbor as you love yourself."  If we follow this commandments then what is the essence of entitlement?  Null. 

Father, help me to remember that my relationship with you is far more valuable than anything that I can get entitled to..  Help me to choose you at all times.

New Look

I just spent hours learning some Photoshop techniques to resize pictures and customizing the overall look of this blog.  The old template looked outdated.  It gave the impression that only people who are in their "second half" (over fifty-five) should be reading this blog.  That's not true at all!  Most of things that I write about here are supposed to be timeless. :)

Anyway, there you have it in full (girly) color!  Maybe this will inspire me to write more often.   Come back and find out!

Single Story = Stereotype

Stereotypes are incomplete, oversimplified opinions based on prior assumptions.  Stereotypes are labels given to a situation, group of people or individual.  Having lived in three different countries, I must admit that I have been both a culprit and victim of this dangerous mistake.  Fortunately, I had the opportunity to find out for myself some truth behind the lies that I've convinced myself to believe. 

With little information at my disposal, I believed that American missionaries living in the Philippines were those who could not make it financially in the States.  Living in a developing country would elevate their status.  What a noble way to look and feel rich, I thought.  When I met Tim he was a short term missionary.  I can't forget a conversation we had when I asked, for some reason I can't remember, how much money he had.  His response was, "Yes, I have four hundred dollars in the bank."  For this story to make sense, I should say that at the time of this conversation, I was an independent person, working on my PhD dissertation, with a good job and satisfactory income.  His response confirmed my original opinion about missionaries.  Years later and after we got married, I found out the other financial story of people going on a mission when we as a couple applied to go and become full time missionaries to another country.  Tim had to quit his good-paying-job as a computer programmer to go begging churches for support.  Missionaries in fact can be those who are financially self-sufficient people with a goal to serve others and to please God in humility.  There was no better way for me to learn this truth than becoming a missionary "appointee". 

Based on prior assumption, when one disagrees with us we oversimplify the reason by saying that the other person dislikes us.  That is but one possible story.  Could it be that the other person sees something within my blind spot and that to disagree with me is a mere expression of concern?  To come up with an original closer-to-truth opinion, find out about the other story.  Research always reveal the unknown or unimagined.  Without it, we allow ourselves to live in a bubble of half truths or lies. 

Get a cup of coffee before watching this video for a more enjoyable viewing experience.  :)

A Resolve

A Resolve*

 For Every Morning of the New Year... I will this day try to live a simple sincere and serene life repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity and self-seeking cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity, and the habit of holy silence exercising economy in expenditure, carefulness in conversation diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust and a child-like trust in God . *From a 100-year old post card courtesy of my friend Soni Gaurano.

 This quote is very inspiring.  It was probably written by someone who thought about life so carefully.  This person longed for significance.   On the contrary, we live in a culture where we are encouraged to resolve to change our own situation in order to change the way we feel about ourselves.  

Recent polls listed the Top Ten New Year's Resolutions as follows:
1.  Spend More Time With Family and Friends
2.  Fit in Fitness
3.  Tame the Bulge
4.  Quit Smoking
5.  Enjoy Life More
6.  Quit Drinking
7.  Get Out of Debt
8.  Learn Something New
9.  Help Others
10 Get Organized

I see an obvious problem with this list; only one (#9) is not self-focused  The rest all seem selfish.

Our relationships almost always determine the way we live.  The way we relate with our God and the people around us make us either content or wanting.  Therefore if I can change the way I live so that I would love more- God, family, neighbors, those I encounter in my walk - then I believe that life can yet become significant.

Love never fails. ~ 1 Cor. 13:8a

A Weekend of Fellowship

This weekend was well spent in spite of being away from home and family!  It's been my first at the famous Arco Arena, my first at the Women of Faith, my first to spend an extended time with some Cornerstone Women, and many more that I won't list here.

Fellowship and Friendship
Best of all getting to know some of the girls in church is really special.  We tailgated in the cold and dark parking lot of Arco Arena.  Gayle was very kind to prepare yummy food for us all.  Unlike the traditional fattening tailgating foods like hotdogs, hamburgers and chips, we had healthy chicken salad and huge cookies.  Unlike your normal carefree tailgating, we had every thing a lady needed from flower-printed napkins to brightly colored cloth lap covers.  We actually looked funny.  We stayed inside the Kris and Sue's vehicles with the heaters on till the arena opened for the evening sessions.  

We were together for a long time without any agenda in mind.  We were free to talk about anything and discuss about what we've been getting and enjoying from the conference.  These ladies (Nancy Wroblewski, Carol Kay, Bernadette Cranmer, Christine Church, Sue Ogrey, Kris Morphew, Shirley Horne, Chris Matassa, Gayle McKenzie, Ellie Retallack) are very nice and there's a lot of learn from each of them.  We also got to see one Superstar in the big screen that made us so proud...Denise Danberg!  She was there with her sister in a different section of the arena.  Paula Armor was also there with her daughter.  Bernadette also came with her mom-in-law and Shirley came with her sister during the second day.  It was really a time to fellowship and reconnect.

Experience
I must say that I am culturally uninformed.  This conference contributed to my cultural education to some extent.  For example, everyone knew who Mandisa was but I didn't.  She was there and performed for us.  I thought that she not only is a great singer she also has a tremendous potential as a speaker.  She spoke more smoothly and with a clearer and more direct point than some of the featured speakers.  She has a story to tell.  That night, she said, was the realization of a dream that she held onto for a long time since she was a little girl growing up in Citrus Heights.  I liked her because she seemed humble!

I knew the song "My Redeemer", but I did not know who sang it originally.  Nicole C. Mullen was there on both days rocking the whole Arco arena but I didn't know anything about her.  I was impressed by her but it wasn't until the emcee, Mary Graham, commented that she writes all the songs she sings that I became curious about her.  I came home shared my stories with my family and my son, Brahms, showed me all the albums that we own of NCM.  I was so embarrassed...but I don't pay attention to music if I don't like it.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed all the songs they sang in the conference but not all of them would be the music that I choose to listen to.

For the other ladies, this conference had the reverse-culture lesson.  World Vision for some reasons was highly advertised in this event.  WV is an organization that helps children in need all over the world through individuals from the US sponsoring one child at a time.  The condition of these children in those poor countries is a very vivid picture for me, having come from one of those countries.  My friend Norma's cousin was a recipient of WV support.  I've seen it with my own eyes.  What little amount given to someone in need is a tremendous help.  A lot of the women there were motivated to sponsor a child.  Gayle, being a new child sponsor, was telling me that the support that she gave would be equivalent to one meal for two at McDonald's per month.   That would be sufficient to feed, clothe and send a child to school.  In my own heart, I praise God for those ladies who made a commitment to help some unfortunate children somewhere.

Intended Lessons
If I come to analyze the whole thing, the conference was intended to help women individually to get out of their own bondages.  It's focused on transformation.  The speeches and stories of the different speakers were intended to bring awareness and hope to each woman.  They are not alone in their plight.  Others have come out victorious and thus they too can.  Different stories: rape; lost childhood; addiction; loneliness; threat of death; failed marriage; finances; etc. were represented by the stories of the speakers and performers.  I was not extremely appreciative of most of the stories.  On the other hand, I was just glad that World Vision was introduced there.  It provided an opportunity to be generous or to think of other's much greater predicament.  Otherwise, the whole thing would have been all focused inward.  My problem.  My problem.  My problem.  I believe that the root-cause to a lot of our problems is self-centeredness and selfishness.  Do you want to get out of your personal problems?  Then look away and see what you can do to make someone experience a more beautiful life.  Look away and see what you can do to make the world better.  Stop brooding over your own.  Begin to be generous.

Women of Faith or Not?

Tomorrow is Women of Faith conference at Arco Arena.  It's my first time to go to one.   What do I expect to get from this two-day conference?  I'm not sure.  My friend Sue says she likes it.

From my experience, conferences like this one are generally a lot rah-rah to the speakers.  Women, especially, go to conferences like this because they've heard of the speaker before.  We've read the books or the bible studies the speaker has written.  Never mind that the study was not that good as long as it made us laugh.  I'm kind of hesitant to get excited because in these conferences, the speakers are celebrities.  They are promoted like stars of a movie event.  And we, the women, are like the fans.  God forgive me... but sometimes it makes me cringe to see how women adore them.  Don't assume that I am so righteous that I haven't fallen into the same trap.  I've been and maybe will be there again. 

The speakers teach us about God and the bible, they even tell you to worship God instead of them but some women forget that.  Johnny Depp, for example,  is not a pirate but in my house we call him Captain Jack Sparrow.  Johnnye Depp was only acting as pirate Captain Jack Sparrow.  The speakers in conferences and authors of books are sometimes perceived as what they write about.   I also think, although I can't be sure, that in a situation where there are several speakers in on conference, there is a hidden competition among them.   There's the pressure to be the best.  The one who made the crowd laugh or cry more is the one who will sell a book better.

Advantages to going to Women of Faith conference:
1.  Fellowship and renewed friendship among those who are going.  We will be tailgating for dinner- and we will have a lot of free time just doing what girls do together.
2.  Learning together - We'll all have the same experience although internalization will vary.  When we will talk about what we heard and not who said it then we will be in the right track.
3. 
4.
5.

After the conference, maybe I'll be in a better position to list more advantages since, after all, this is going to be my first time to go.  Everything that I've written therefore is based on my own previous experiences with similar events and my speculation.

If you have been to one before, then may I ask you help me complete the list.